We didn’t sign up for this

As my long-standing partner-in-crime and I approach fourteen years together, here are some thoughts on how life didn’t turn out quite as we’d expected 😊

Bifana Alfacinha - a Brit in Lisbon

Family life, in my view, is completely mis-sold – a bit like a bad insurance policy, but with much further-reaching consequences.

When visualising my future self during my teens and twenties, I had pictured myself eventually ending up with a brood of cherubs, with whom I’d commune briskly, yet serenely, in the style of a modern-day Mary Poppins. And in truth, my imaginings hadn’t really extended much beyond the babies being super-cute and going to bed at 7.30 p.m.

Now, as parents of a 10 and 8-year-old, my husband and I are often heard darkly muttering “we should have got a dog.” Last night was fairly typical family fare. Alone with them while Daddy was at work, I barely tolerated constant, low-level bickering, one explosive fit of temper (older child) and deloused, for the umpteenth time, the younger child. Incredibly, in between all of this I cooked dinner, served dinner…

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